The Adventures of Matt in Holland: Kampala, Day Two: High Security Boozin'

Greetings one and all. I have decided not not bore the hell out of everybody, with a recap of every little detail of my experience at the conference. I'm sure most of you don't really want to read about panels on the crime of aggression or positive complementarity. Although, if you do, let me know, I'll tell you all about it.

As for the day's activities, they were much like the previous day. Although I was able to sit in on some debates and discussions, which was exciting for me at least. Otherwise, it was another day of promoting the shit out of Legal Tools and trying to grab state's delegates as they passed by.

Which brings me to my next topic: Kenya, known for its distance runners, alleged war crimes and now, to me at least, short sleeve suits. I had no idea such a thing existed. It was fascinating. I was sitting at the LTOP table waiting for some interested folk to stroll by, when along comes the Kenyan delegation, almost all in short sleeve suits. It was amazing. Why the hell hasn't anyone else thought of this? Unfortunately I was in such awe of this new revelation that I was unable to secure any photos, as they quickly walked through the corridor, but I'll try to get one later. Hopefully they haven't all left the conference already. This is the best I could do with a google image search. It's much more impressive on a person, but this should tide you over

I don't think I can pull that look off, but I'm willing to try.

Following the day's regular events, we got to hop on a bus, with a fancy little police escort as the ICC setup a little gathering at the ICC's Kampala Field office for a little side event involving a few speeches, a photo exhibit and my favorite, copious amounts of free booze. I also learned that Ugandan police sirens are outstanding. They are clearly sponsored by Atari in some way. They sound like some sort of glorious cross between Pacman and Missile Command. It was magical.

Upon arrival at the field office, things became rather surreal, having this outdoor party within the walls of the Field office. Not so much because of the so called gravitas of the court, but more so the really high level of security. The place was entirely walled in, with genuine razor wire encircling the place and tons of armed guards. Thanks to the fine young Ugandan gentlemen with their Kalashnikovs. I know I felt much safer. Below you can see the top of the wall. Militants might get in, but they won't be happy if they do.

From Kampala 01 June 2010

The evening was filled with delicious whisky, a few openly ignored speeches and one conversation with a Samoan delegate. He was sporting a Hawaiian shirt and looked a bit like The Rock. He was everything one could hope for in a Samoan diplomat.

Afterwards, the ICC supplied us with a bus ride back to the hotel. It was filled with several delegates, a few from various African states, all going back to our respective hotels. During the ride, the driver got lost and was mercilessly heckled by the African fellas, upon which I felt obliged to join in. Good times were had by all.

It was about that time that I came to the conclusion that I really like Africans. Obviously it's a large group and there are plenty of exceptions, I'm sure, but I have found that generally, Africans are super nice and fun, always smiling and happy, and most importantly, they will not hesitate to heckle a man when it is warranted. I like their style.

And on that note, I will bid you adieu, with a short little photo essay.

Apparently Horses will just pass the hell out when they get tired. It doesn't matter where they are. I admire that. I wish it was socially acceptable for me to do the same.